Believe In Love?
by Princess-Chan
Summary: He asked me if I believed in love. I told him I that I didn’t. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in love, it was that I couldn’t. Well after what I had been through, how could anyone believe that love existed?


I dont own Naruto.

* * *

**_Believe In Love?_**

He asked me if I believed in love. I told him I that I didn't. He looked so sad when I said that. I told the truth of this situation and finally admitted to myself and him the reality. It wasn't that I didn't believe in love, it was that I couldn't. Well after what I had been through, how could _anyone_ believe that love existed? That's when he became curious. He asked me what had happened. I was shocked when he asked me that. Surely he had heard about it. Everyone in this whole damn messed up village knew about the infamous Uchiha Massacre. The curiosity and want of that knowledge in his eyes was genuine. He really had no idea what had happened. So for the first time in my life, I told the story from my own point of view.

* * *

I told him of my relationship with aniki. I loved him. He was my role model and I wanted to be just like him. Not for my father's attention or my mother's affection, like everyone believes. I wanted to be like him because, in my eyes, he was indestructible. He was my hero. He and I would train together all the time and he would teach me new attack movements or jutsus. I always pushed myself to be like him, even better than him too, sometimes. Heh, he used to call me over and poke my forehead with enough chakra built up in his finger to push my head back a little. It hurt when he did that but I always fell for it. If I needed training or practice, I would always go to him. Father would never take the time to train with me. Aniki was my best friend and I was always happy. 

Then one day, some of his fellow ninjas came and told Itachi that his best friend was found dead. Apparently he was drowned the night before. That's when things started to change. Aniki kept to himself more often. He took more missions and trained a lot more. The fights between my father and him got more intense and happened frequently. My parents thought it was due to depression but I knew better. He seemed fine, almost happy, when he found out and every time he returned home. Something was up and I was worried.

I was only about 8 years old at the time. I was doing well in the academy. All this was because of my aniki. I loved him dearly and wanted to make him proud. I had given up on trying to impress father. It was useless with Itachi around. Instead of feeling hatred toward him, though, I felt admiration. I was amazed by his accomplishments at his age of 18. This is…. until he turned against us. Against me.

I had just gotten another A on a paper and hurried home to show Itachi. When I entered the compound, I noticed how quiet it was. Getting worried, I sped up. While I was racing home, I saw nothing, heard nothing. Finally reaching home, I yelled for my mom and dad. I yelled even louder for aniki. When I reached my parents bedroom I noticed the door was closed. I reached to open it when my mother's voice burst through. "Sasuke?! Sasuke stay out! Run my son! Run far and fas…." Then complete silence. She seemed so scared and I sware I heard my father crying in the background.

Unable to run, I opened the door. There were my mother and father. On the floor, lying in a pool of their own crimson blood. I fell to my knees and slowly crawled to their pale corpses. My father's face was stricken with fear and disappointment. My mother's face was contorted with fear and worry. Tears streamed down my face as I looked around for the killer. There was nothing but darkness and the blood draining from my parents deep throat wounds.

I knew the killer had to still be in the room. Suddenly from the back of the room, a pair of red eyes glowed. I knew those eyes, those eyes I had seen many times in my life. Slowly Itachi appeared from the shadows. He was dressed in his Anbu uniform with his hair tied back and the sharingan blazing. The katana in his hand was dripping with blood. The blood of all the Uchihas in the compound. The blood of our father. The blood of our mother. The blood of my family.

"They were holding me back. I couldn't let them live anymore. But I'll let you go. You still have promise." He pushed me against the wall and brought me to eye level. Holding onto my throat I stared into his eyes. The eyes of my beloved brother. The scarlet and black tainted eyes of a killer.

* * *

I stopped there. I was afraid of what happened next. The scene that haunted me my entire life. That one thing I wish I to never have to relive. Yet I was going to tell him. He needed to know. Needed to know why I could no longer love. I looked at him and he was just sitting there on the dock patiently, waiting for me to continue but not pressing me for more information. He watched me with understanding and his eyes told me that I didn't have to continue. I did though. I had to finish this story. Not only for him, but for me. 

He pulled me into his arms and silently wiped away my tears. It was then that I realized I was crying. It had been so long since I had cried and even longer since I felt this safe. When I was in his arms, it was like nothing could hurt me. I know this is a sign of weakness and it was a major blow to my pride, but this wasn't the first time I had lowered myself for him.

I took and long shuddering breath and continued on with my story.

* * *

I looked into his ruby eyes. Watching as the black dots moved and joined together to form a shuriken form. These were the true eyes of a killer. The eyes I will always remember. Eyes with shuriken pupils and blood colored. Then I blacked out. When I awoke I was at the compound entrance again. This time there were people everywhere. They had fear written all over their faces and were all looking in the same direction. I turned to see Itachi standing there in anbu uniform on a protruding tree branch. All of the sudden he was gone and people were screaming for their lives. With amazing speed he ran down the street and slashed their screeching throats one by one. Terrified and confused, I ran to the house, hoping to warn my parents. Itachi had beaten me there. I watched as he murdered my parents. That horrifying scene replayed time and time again. After the 20th time, I couldn't take it anymore. Watching my parents get killed by my aniki numerous times was just too much for me. I couldn't stand the fact that I was unable to save them. No matter what I did, it would never be enough to save them from their horrid fate. I screamed and screamed until I couldn't anymore. That's when Itachi broke the trance he put me in. He came close and whispered "Hate me Sasuke, become strong with hate. Then you'll be able to kill me. Hate me and those around you. companionship, love, adoration; those are all weak emotions and will make you weaker. Hate me Sasuke." 

Then he disappeared, leaving me alone with my lifeless parents. His words echoed throughout my whole being. I knew what I had to do. I had to kill Itachi and avenge my clan. Itachi had to die for what he did to my family. For what he did to me.

From that day on I trained hard and for hours at a time. If I ever started to feel alone or depressed, I would blame Itachi and my anger would rekindle and boil inside of me, causing me to continue with my training. I avoided my house whenever possible. When I stopped my training for the day or took a break, I went to sit right here on this dock and stare at the ever changing deep blue water.

That was my life. Training and staring at the lake. I had no friends, I couldn't afford wasting whatever precious time I had on just hanging out with friends. I thought of nothing but my hatred and the need to get stronger.

The one person I loved most took everything away from me. How could I believe that love is really out there after that?

* * *

We sat there for a few minutes just staring at the water. "I don't think its that you _can't_ believe in love, I think your _afraid_ to believe." That sentence shocked me. Thinking about it for a little, I realized he was right. I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't want to go through all of that another time. I couldn't survive the heartbreak. So I made myself not believe. I made myself not believe that I had fallen for the one who's holding me close, who's protecting me. He then took and deep breath and told me his story. His tale of lonliness, sadness, and pain. I had seen that sadness in his eyes for years but I never knew why he would be so sad. I could have never even guessed the full extent of his seclusion and torture he had gone through. 

He grew up alone and hated by everyone all his life. The fourth hokage sealed the powerful nine-tailed fox demon inside of him. He found out about that when he was 12 years old. Before that he never understood why he was so hated and why everyone called him a demon child. For 12 years he was called a monster, ignored and told to stay away for reasons unknown to him. All of his pranks and foolish antics were all for attention. Even if he was only getting yelled at, at least he was getting the attention he longed for his entire life. At least this person, though just yelling at him, was acknowledging his existence. Otherwise he was ignored. He was never praised for good work and never given anything as a gift. Holidays were torture and a painful reminder of his place in the world. The only time he was given attention for doing absolutely nothing to eserve it was when he was getting beaten up by some of the villagers. This happened often, but he could still put on that bright smile and pull through it.

He had no idea what love was until he met Iruka. Iruka became his father figure and treated him like he was his only son. Sensei treated him to ramen and protected him from the beatings. The villagers eventually backed off on the physical abuse but the mental abuse became even stronger. That was the only thing Iruka couldn't protect him from. Still, Iruka loved him even though his parents murderer was sealed inside this lost and innocent boy. That is what Iruka saw him as, an innocent and lost child. Not the cage for a murderous demon.

"Still, I had a hard time understanding what love was. That is…" He turned to me with that smile still on his face and sadness in his eyes."… until I met you." He fell in love with me instantly, just as I had fallen for him. We both ignored these feelings for each other and concealed them behind feelings of hatred. We became rivals and best friends but that wasn't enough for either of us. Still we hid this desire and made no move to uncover it, until now. He confessed his love and I did the same. From that moment, I knew we would never be alone to deal with that pain and anguish again.

* * *

"Come on Sasuke! Dinner's ready!" I shut my journal and stayed their staring at it, still in my trance from the flashback of that wonderful day. My journal was navy blue with orange pages. On the front was the Uchiha symbol encompassed by the Kyuubi seal. It was a sign that he would always protect me. On the back was a fire snake surrounding a small kit. That was a sign that I would always protect him. This journal was a symbol of our love for each other. This journal was us. We shared it and wrote everything that troubled us inside. Nothing was ever kept a secret between us because we were all each other had. 

This memory came to me because today was the one year anniversary since we got married, 2 years since we confessed our love and started going out. The stories we shared that night are only known by us and now the journal. No one will ever know. This was a secret we would keep close to us forever.

"SASUKE!! Dinner's getting cold!" "Okay, Okay! I'm coming Naruto." I slid off the bed, stretched, and strode downstairs. There I found him waiting for me with happiness, not only in his smile but in his eyes as well. I never wanted to see that happiness die and I will do everything to protect it, protect him. "Happy Anniversaries" "You too" I kissed him briefly and sat down. I knew I had the same look on my face as he did.


End file.
